more photos....

Eme's costume for her Father Daughter Brownie dance - should I mention award winning costume, she took 1st prize out of 50+

And snapshot of Anna "lovingly" holding tiger, though not pictured is he is now long enough so his hind feet were touching the ground during this shot.

The plus and minus of siblings...

Of course I refer to more than the assumed instant playmates(plus) instant competition for mom (minus).

Neve has discovered that she loves having a brother and sisters, as they find it really cute that she can say their names so well and will repeat anything they say (especially things that most 19 month olds don't and shouldn't say). In exchange for this service of endless giggles she has them at her beck and call, which she mostly cashes in on when she is feeling slighted, or hurt in any imaginable way. It's no longer: "mommmmy!" it's now: "Eme hug", "Gaycen hug", "Anna hug", then last but not least "Momma hug" (unless of course Rosie or Dara are around then I move down the ladder a few rungs).

Eme seems to be the chosen one right now, and she really loves it, and although she has never been that into Neve, becoming the chosen one has changed their relationship dramatically (for the positive).

Grayson of course doesn't relinquish his position easily and so ensues a contest of who can make Neve laugh, or who can make her say the funniest non baby thing (favorites: butt, butt thingy, poopy elmo, etc) - it is hard for even me not to laugh, what a terrible position to be in where I am not suppose to laugh thereby encouraging such behavior. It's much harder to be an example than I ever thought it would be.

One of the best laugh contests of late came as a result of buying a .50$ bag of kitty shaped balloons while out running errands before meeting Paul at the office. Grayson now quite the accomplished balloon blower (though not able to tie them), was trying to make Neve laugh by making the balloon talk but accidentally discovered that it is down right hilarious (at least to the under 8 set) to let the balloon go. Guess it's the sound plus unpredictability. Of course he and Eme side splitting laughing, near tears, is all but impossible to not join in (at last some joke I can guilt free join in). Now while driving through Palo Alto is me laughing so hard I can hardly breath, with 4 kids in the same state in the back of the car (the younger 2 mostly laughing because it's so infectious not because they actually know what's going on), which because of tinted windows I am positive nobody else can see it so I look like a stark mad raving lunatic, to only be pushed over the top when one of the balloons unsuspectingly pops while being blown up. Poor Grayson hurt, but unable to do anything but suck it up as everyone else is still laughing, and me laughing so hard at this but trying to pretend like I don't know what's going on because I am laughing way too hard to ask him in a lovingly way if he's okay.

Now on the other side of the coin....

background:
I read a book a couple years ago about bullies and through reading decided to introduce the word "taunting" (teasing where only one party laughing) to differentiate from "teasing" (both parties laughing).

Now my days are overflowing with "so and so is taunting"! So much so I loathe the word and the use of the word taunting has almost become a worse offense than actually doing the taunting.

Grayson of course almost never uses the word as he typically is the main offender. I guess I should be thankful that he has never been a violent child, but I struggle daily to help him gain acceptance of his insecurities and need for attention which provoke him to commit the taunting in the first place.

Eme with a shrill (really the best description) voice screams it out loud, though pretty rare as she and Grayson are almost always thick as thieves and unlike most gangs there is very little turf wars between the two (with the exception of Neve). Though with Eme, I know I have to step in quick else as she quickly follows it with "I am a volcano ready to erupt!", which is my cue that I have less than 10 seconds to intervene or she is going to open up a can of whoop ass on whomever dares offend her. side note: the volcano part is a new addition in her recent maturity, thank goodness for that!

Anna, at the tender age of trying to grasp the true meaning of words, has chosen to use 'taunting' as her catchall word for any slight or offense or any thing a person might do or say that doesn't go her way (i.e. someone asks for something she doesn't want to share). This of course annoys the heck out of older siblings, which there by causes them to get angry and frustrated enough to actually start taunting and so begins the vicious cycle that leaves me around 4pm asking if it's bedtime yet? I now have started addressing Anna's feelings immediately (oh Anna you are upset) and that seems to help a little with the problem but obviously no solution yet.

Now some of you out there might be thinking well just you wait till Neve...well before you get too far with that let me stop you and say that just the other day Neve was clearly distressed about something and with big tears in her eyes..."Gaycen tauting"! (though something about a one and a half year saying it makes me smile instead of pull my hair out)

A little over 8 years ago...

Yesterday was the last day that Neve had milk, such a sad yet joyous end to that chapter of our relationship. Hardest part was when she had milk the last time she patted my chest and said "nigh nigh... bye-bye milk" with a little bit of sadness in her eyes and a lot of deep thought in her eyes (it's such an amazing age when at times you can look in her eyes and see those wheels turning as she puts it all together)(and I am sure as she looks back she sees the doubt and sadness reflected in my eyes). I am in near tears as I write this, yet I know that it is the right time for both of us as the process of weaning has been relatively easy, and as Paul says now that Neve not only asks for milk in multiple languages (milk, leche) she had begun to say "other side".

A little over eight years ago I became pregnant with Grayson, then while nursing him got pregnant with Eme, Then within a week of weaning her got pregnant with Anna, and with in a week of her got pregnant with Neve. It's hard to believe that for nearly a decade I have been either pregnant, nursing or both. I am feeling a little loss like a teenager going of to college for the first time and knowing that you are turning the page on a new chapter on your life.

There is excitement in knowing that I can take Excedrin again if I want to, I can eat curry, drink caffeine, or whatever I want to without worry about upsetting someone else (though I am sure heartburn will damper that dream!), I can take over the counter cold medicines without having to worry about the "pregnant or nursing mother warnings". Yet there is so much connectedness, attention, and love that surrounds pregnancy and nursing that I fear that I will no longer get that.

Of course one of the biggest fears is will I be able to maintain my svelte size 0 body now that I am not nursing and burning all those extra calories. I have joked many a times that I will be a closet nurser forever for that reason alone, perhaps the first case of nursing bulimia?

Then again if it doesn't work out I guess I could always just revert to the "As God intended..." route and keep this up for another 5 or more years...... ;-)

Some recent photos

Here are some more photos. The one of Neve, is a perfect example of why when you hear your two youngest children "giggling" and "playing" together you should investigate.

Friends, Family, Countrymen!

I hope this newsletter finds everyone in good health and spirit.

It has been a green year for us here in Woodside (in spite of not seeing Gore’s inspiring film). Besides the usual living off solar, recycling, using biodiesel, composting and avoiding paper napkins and towels we have decided to forgo sending out the traditional holiday card and newsletter. [translate: too busy to print pictures, address cards, sign cards and send them]

As everyone can imagine life with 4 kids, A Dad running a start-up (www.icontrol.com ), and a Mother who decided that life wasn’t busy enough so “let’s home school” - time just gets away from us.

The kids are fantastic (but what parent doesn’t think that).

Grayson (VII) is progressing in Taekwondo and finally gotten into the groove. He has also discovered Nintendo Ds and would give everything he owns to be able to have free access to play it. He continues to be Mom’s big helper and is particularly great at negotiating. Favorite subjects in school are History, Science and Math in that order.

Eme (V) has become an amazing strong swimmer. She is easily inspired and motivated by doing whatever she needs to do to be Grayson’s best friend. She still loves kitties and longs more than anything for a black kitten. We recently finished reading “Wrinkle in Time” and she now goes by the name “Meg”. Her favorite subjects are all of them except Music.

Anna (III) also is swimming and loves to experience water any way she can. She has become my keeper of the rules and loves to tell every and anyone what to do and what not to do and why. Animals are Anna’s passion and she can often be found carrying around some new found insect or heavy into playing vet. She has become as much a part of the home schooling as the other kids and gets upset if I forget to call on her for an answer... Favorite subject: Lunch time.

Neve (I) is taking swimming as well, but has decided that backstroke is the only way to go, apparently getting her face wet is not for her. She is incredibly verbal (in both English and Spanish), amazingly persistent, very animated, extremely independent and wonderfully capable– I guess all the things you expect from a 4th child. Her favorite subjects: Music and Art.

I (XXXVI) am ridiculously happy with the schooling stuff and feel like I have really found my place. Not that it isn’t with it frustrations, but how cool is it to be able to go back to 1st grade in school as an adult? I have taught (learned) all about Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Ancient India. I am finally able to read music (something I never was able to master as a kid), and I have learned about dozens of artists. I now know that there are 5 different ways to make the long ‘a’ sound, and what they are. And I have access to a great selection of stories to read the kids. Let’s not forget I know how to make thunder and lightening with a balloon and tin foil and know why if you cut open a hail stones there are layers inside. All this (plus tons more) and we only been at it since January!

Paul (XLII) is crazy busy working at iControl. He is traveling often, and working insane hours but glad to be in a position where he feels like he is making a difference. They should be closing their Series B fund raising sometime this week and hopefully Paul will be able to take a deep breath until the next round :-). He has managed to sneak in a couple heli-skiing trips so you can’t feel too bad for him...

Not pictured: Ramsey our loyal dog, Riley the beautiful but lazy cat, Tiger our resident rodent controller cat, Mr. B and Poncho our poor under ridden horses, Donovan the goldfish (aka known as Looky, Boo, and a dozen other names depending on the week). The last but not least Zeus the 2 week old baby pygmy goat that was abandoned in a box on our driveway the weekend after Easter.


Hope to catch up with everyone soon and so proud that I was able to get this sent out before April 2!

All our Best!
The Dawes Family, Woodside (Paul, Janie, Grayson, Eme, Anna, and Neve)