The plus and minus of siblings...

Of course I refer to more than the assumed instant playmates(plus) instant competition for mom (minus).

Neve has discovered that she loves having a brother and sisters, as they find it really cute that she can say their names so well and will repeat anything they say (especially things that most 19 month olds don't and shouldn't say). In exchange for this service of endless giggles she has them at her beck and call, which she mostly cashes in on when she is feeling slighted, or hurt in any imaginable way. It's no longer: "mommmmy!" it's now: "Eme hug", "Gaycen hug", "Anna hug", then last but not least "Momma hug" (unless of course Rosie or Dara are around then I move down the ladder a few rungs).

Eme seems to be the chosen one right now, and she really loves it, and although she has never been that into Neve, becoming the chosen one has changed their relationship dramatically (for the positive).

Grayson of course doesn't relinquish his position easily and so ensues a contest of who can make Neve laugh, or who can make her say the funniest non baby thing (favorites: butt, butt thingy, poopy elmo, etc) - it is hard for even me not to laugh, what a terrible position to be in where I am not suppose to laugh thereby encouraging such behavior. It's much harder to be an example than I ever thought it would be.

One of the best laugh contests of late came as a result of buying a .50$ bag of kitty shaped balloons while out running errands before meeting Paul at the office. Grayson now quite the accomplished balloon blower (though not able to tie them), was trying to make Neve laugh by making the balloon talk but accidentally discovered that it is down right hilarious (at least to the under 8 set) to let the balloon go. Guess it's the sound plus unpredictability. Of course he and Eme side splitting laughing, near tears, is all but impossible to not join in (at last some joke I can guilt free join in). Now while driving through Palo Alto is me laughing so hard I can hardly breath, with 4 kids in the same state in the back of the car (the younger 2 mostly laughing because it's so infectious not because they actually know what's going on), which because of tinted windows I am positive nobody else can see it so I look like a stark mad raving lunatic, to only be pushed over the top when one of the balloons unsuspectingly pops while being blown up. Poor Grayson hurt, but unable to do anything but suck it up as everyone else is still laughing, and me laughing so hard at this but trying to pretend like I don't know what's going on because I am laughing way too hard to ask him in a lovingly way if he's okay.

Now on the other side of the coin....

background:
I read a book a couple years ago about bullies and through reading decided to introduce the word "taunting" (teasing where only one party laughing) to differentiate from "teasing" (both parties laughing).

Now my days are overflowing with "so and so is taunting"! So much so I loathe the word and the use of the word taunting has almost become a worse offense than actually doing the taunting.

Grayson of course almost never uses the word as he typically is the main offender. I guess I should be thankful that he has never been a violent child, but I struggle daily to help him gain acceptance of his insecurities and need for attention which provoke him to commit the taunting in the first place.

Eme with a shrill (really the best description) voice screams it out loud, though pretty rare as she and Grayson are almost always thick as thieves and unlike most gangs there is very little turf wars between the two (with the exception of Neve). Though with Eme, I know I have to step in quick else as she quickly follows it with "I am a volcano ready to erupt!", which is my cue that I have less than 10 seconds to intervene or she is going to open up a can of whoop ass on whomever dares offend her. side note: the volcano part is a new addition in her recent maturity, thank goodness for that!

Anna, at the tender age of trying to grasp the true meaning of words, has chosen to use 'taunting' as her catchall word for any slight or offense or any thing a person might do or say that doesn't go her way (i.e. someone asks for something she doesn't want to share). This of course annoys the heck out of older siblings, which there by causes them to get angry and frustrated enough to actually start taunting and so begins the vicious cycle that leaves me around 4pm asking if it's bedtime yet? I now have started addressing Anna's feelings immediately (oh Anna you are upset) and that seems to help a little with the problem but obviously no solution yet.

Now some of you out there might be thinking well just you wait till Neve...well before you get too far with that let me stop you and say that just the other day Neve was clearly distressed about something and with big tears in her eyes..."Gaycen tauting"! (though something about a one and a half year saying it makes me smile instead of pull my hair out)