Anna is this most amazing little girl and I have said many a times is the child that forced me to grow the most as a mother. Bear with me in this convoluted tail of our most current woe...
To say she was a poor sleeper would be an understatement. She never slept more than an hour at a time until she was 17 months old and I finally night weaned her and since then has only slept through the night maybe a dozen times. She has slept with me since day one and all but less than a handfull of nights (where she thought she'd try being a big kid and sleep in the girls room) has continued to sleep next to me. The only time she hasn't fallen asleep with me at her side is when I was in the hospital with Neve. Needless to say I am pretty much a huge part of her sleep rituals.
Currently she is potty training. Something I never really did with Grayson and Eme. I just waited until they were ready (G was a few months after 4, and Eme one week after G at 2.5). My plan was to do the same with Anna. Especially using cloth diapers I was in no hurry. Back in the late spring shortly before Anna turned 2 on a whim if she was naked she would use the potty. I was ecstatic and thought wow she'll be potty trained before Neve even comes. However there was a slight caveat (isn't there always?). If Anna was naked she was 100% using the potty. You put clothes on her she was 100% NOT using the potty. Okay no problem around the house she was naked then when we got dressed to take her out I would throw on a diaper. This worked great, and I would wonder about how to make the transition from naked to clothes to be the same, but definitely not in any sort of hurry.
Months go by, then comes Halloween. Anna dresses up as a bunny, basically a velvety white unitard suit that I sewed pink furry cuffs and pinned a pink furry tail to. So cute, and Anna was in love. However she got it in her head that the bunny suit requires that you go "commando" (sans undergarments). Again no problem around the house, we had a few pee accidents, but with stone and tile floors it's a pretty easy clean-up. The cleaning the costume was a much bigger deal as Anna has massive separation anxiety while the costume is being washed.
Halloween night: Anna refuses to wear a diaper under her costume. No amount of bribing convinces her otherwise. I pack a change of clothes and all but pray that she doesn't have an accident on the floor of the community center at the Halloween party. She promises to "be careful" - her words. Well long story short she does fine, I begin to celebrate mentally that she's done with diapers.
Over the next couple days we have more accidents than not and I am really frustrated as she 1. still refuses to wear a diaper 2. will only wear her costume and 3. I am getting tired of cleaning up pee. I know you naysayers out there are thinking why give her a choice why not just put it on her. Here's why. It is amazingly difficult to do anything to a 2 year old if they don't want it. They don't understand consequences and have the amazing ability to throw enormous tantrums that can outlast the patience of a saint. Forcing her into a diaper becomes a kicking screaming horrendous battle, followed by a 45 minute screaming crying fit followed by her realizing she can actually take off her clothes by herself and end of battle.
Anna 1 mom 0.
So after these "accidents" I decide to go the bribe/incentive pathway. Anna doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, but turns out really likes candy corns. She was really into go on the potty get a candy corn, and I was so proud of myself for solving yet another parenting issue. After a couple days turns out Anna is tired of candy corns and decided it was just easier to use the potty when she really wants a candy corn otherwise just let loose where ever she is. Sigh, back to square one.
Anna 2 mom 0
Now even worse she's decided that even if she has to go to the bathroom, and we are in a bathroom she doesn't want to go. A polite "no thank you, I'll be careful" is her answer. Which translates to "no thanks I'll just hold it until I can't hold it any longer and just let loose wherever". However she does seem to be best about it when she is in her costume as she does understand that peeing in her costume means no costume for a day why it is being washed. So she is practically living in her costume. Thankfully most people find it endearing to see a 2 year old dressed as a bunny.
Tonight was the icing on the cake so to speak. She refused to put a diaper on to go to bed, which if I let it go would be absolutely disastrous and since I mentioned about that she sleeps with me I have no interest in letting her try. This isn't the first time she's done this, about a week ago she refused, I told her okay, let her fall asleep and put one on her while she was sleeping. Clever aren't I? However I never expected her to wake up while I was doing so and spend the next hour sobbing in my arms screaming "no diaper!!!" over and over.
Anna 3 Mom 0.
So back to tonight I thought I would put a little pressure on her to avoid the wake up crying thing. Told her no costume unless she wears a diaper. She cried for a little bit then tried the yelling thing, but realized that I wasn't going to budge on this one. Then she still refused to wear the diaper, I upped the ante. No sleeping in Mommy's bed. Okay no big deal she says and climbs into one of the beds in the girls room. She then starts to go through her ritual (water, grapes, and books) and I say no to everything unless she puts on the diaper. Anna still refuses the diaper. Then she is laying there saying mommy I need you to go nigh nigh and I have nothing left to deny her so I tell her the last thing. No mommy until you put on the diaper. Things are quiet, I am thinking she must be contemplating and realize that maybe I should just put the diaper on. 5 minutes go by not a peep. I peak in on her and there she is laying on the bed naked as the day she was born, curled up putting herself to sleep. My heart is breaking. I stay and watch just hoping and waiting that she'll back down. She doesn't and I watch her fall asleep for the first time without mommy through the crack in the door.
Anna 4 mom 0.
Guess I better get up there and put the diaper on and prepare for the ensuing battle.
